Oh wait…am I the only one who has crazy kids sometimes?
…I didn’t think so.
Let’s get real. We all have those days where our kids are driving us nuts. Constantly needing attention, not listening, whining about everything…yeah. It’s hard. and It’s often. Ya feel me?
Both of my kids are miracles. I am so grateful for them every single day. But some days really test my patience! I’m no expert, but I’ve recognized some quick tricks to helping my kiddos feel loved (and helping me feel like a better mama) on those hard days.
SPEAK AN AFFIRMATION
Every kid (just like every adult) has their own love language- but all kids need to be verbally affirmed. For me, this often is just me saying, “Halle, I love being your mommy.” Especially on days when I’m really having trouble showing that with my actions or attitudes, this almost always brings a smile and a snuggle.
Here’s some other ideas:
“I’m so glad God gave me you as my son/daughter.”
“I love to watch you (paint/sing/read/dance/play).”
“You are so brave. Can you show me that trick again?”
“I love when you tell me about your day.”
“Being your mommy is my favorite thing.”
PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY
This is THE HARDEST for me! Yet- I notice a direct correlation with my patience level (and my kids’ craziness level) and when I have my phone in my hand. When things are starting to get nuts or I’m feeling overwhelmed, I go plug my phone in in another room and I practice being present. Even if it’s inconvenient at the moment or I’m in the middle of something- it’s always worth it to delay what I’m doing on that phone (or recognize that it’s not important anyway) and reset with my kids.
GET OUT YOUR ENERGY
Honestly, sometimes I just get flat-out angry, and I have a ton of negative energy to burn. Instead of screaming in my child’s face when they are screaming at me (I’ve done this, and found it counterproductive, ha!) I try doing something silly but energy burning- crazy dancing while making funny noises, running really fast around the house while singing one of my daughter’s favorite song, burpees- anything to get out that energy. I often find that my daughter will join me, and it usually ends in smiles.
READ A BOOK
This may not work for everyone, but I can often reset both of our attitudes by taking a few minutes to read a book. Nancy Tillman books are our favorite- they are beautiful, calming, and affirming for your child. We love “I’d Know You Anywhere, My Love” and “You’re Here For a Reason“.
TAKE FIVE MINUTES FOR YOU
Sometimes, mama just needs a break. Give your kid a snack, put them in front of the TV, give them playdough- whatever works, you know your kids- and take five minutes for self care. Here’s some ideas if you need them!
OIL THEM UP (AND YOU!)
It’s no secret that I love essential oils, and I especially benefit from using them for emotional purposes. There are oils for lifting moods, calming craziness, and balancing feelings of stress and overwhelm- grab some for your kids, and for you. DoTERRA’s Emotional Aromatherapy Touch Kit is our lifeline- we can’t live without it in this house!
DO SOMETHING YOU KNOW THEY LOVE
Again, this is different for every kid. Most days, Halle would love nothing more than for me to sit in her playroom and let her serve me pretend tea (or, TBH, she usually gives me pretend wine- ha!) and cookies. She also responds well to a snack, or riding her new bike. This is hard because it, again, requires our undivided attention to really work- but it’s proved super helpful for us to just take a few minutes and do something I know my child will love.
APOLOGIZE AND LISTEN
…and this is where I end up multiple times a day. Too far into the spin cycle and everything feels out of control. For us, this looks like me getting on the same physical level as my child (either sitting on the ground with her or pulling her up onto the couch to snuggle), apologizing that we are having a hard time, and asking her about her feelings. And really listening. You’ll know what to do from there…